Main issues when Spanking your wife or girlfriend Spanking a woman involves two main issues: Although the main purpose of spanking is to cause pain in her bottom, it is not to cause any real damage or physical harm to the woman, because that is violence rather than discipline. And we are talking about the use of Loving Domestic Discipline in a loving relationship, not in a relationship where there is hatred or contempt. So naturally the man needs to punish his woman without damaging her body. Therefore safety is paramount. Effectiveness is the second most important issue in spanking a woman.